Title: Don’t ever leave me [one shot]
Author: Fye
Pairing: Aoi and Uruha.
Genre: Self harm, gore, pure romance, slightly angst.
Rate: PG16 will change to PG18.
Summary: Alone. In the dark room; crying and calling for his name. Though it hurts when someone he loves the most doesn’t know about his feeling. He tried to forget those moments when he have to suffer, suffer the feeling of emptiness. Only the feeling of the knife cutting his flesh calms him down.
Disclaimer: sadly they are not mine but the whole fiction is mine.
Comment: well let just see if I’m capable of doing a fiction. I’m sorry Aoi!!! Eto ne... Sorry for the grammar error, was in a rush to finish this story soon.* Re-editing this story once again due to that time I was rushing to finish the story as soon as possible.

Aoi has been keeping his feeling for a long time, though he really wants to tell the younger how he felt about him. He wants to tell the younger, the feelings that he kept since long time ago. He was too afraid; those negative feeling keeps on telling him to be quiet. Only keeping the feeling to himself. Once he tried to tell the younger how he felt, his thought went wild, as if someone in his mind talking to him he would get a rejection if he tell and end up he would be called as the most disgusting person who have fall in love with his own type. He also thought if the younger knew he would probably quit from the band and never wants to see him again.

Although he cannot touch nor feel the younger body, seeing the younger during band practice is more than enough for him, though he want to feel the younger so badly, he even want to feel the feeling to be in love, not with other guy but the younger. Only he can make his heart beats faster, only he can make him smile even cry. Only if the younger would understand it, understand his feeling about him; he would be the luckiest person.

His greatest craving would be the younger to be with him, rather than being alone in his room; crying continuously only the shining knife that has been accompanying him for several years keeps him calm, whenever he felt really lonely, a cut would be craves on such beautiful yet talented hands, hands which is use to play the guitar, the music that he used to love more than anything until he met the younger when they form a band together. None of them knows how Aoi suffer from the loss of blood every night due to his suffering of loneliness, although he wanted to tell them but he doesn’t want them to worry about him so much especially the younger. He doesn’t want him to felt guilty, because the reason why Aoi cut himself is because of wanting his love more than anything.

All started when they form a band and ever since the day the younger introduced himself as Uruha, from that moments Aoi has fall in love with that guy. A beautiful creature with soft face, a smile that looks like an angel, the beautiful solos that he made and the god gifted hands that made him play pretty well. If only he can have the younger to himself; that thought would never happen. Even if he prays, that would never happen. He wished he was Reita and Ruki, both were close to Uruha, even in the last live they were playing, Uruha and Ruki were so close, too close, even he let Ruki played his guitar by using his tongue licking those beautiful strings . That time Aoi wished he was Ruki, him playing the guitar solos with him, side to side as if only both of them rule the stage.

Whenever Aoi try to get closer to Uruha, he would end rather speechless or stutter even when he tried talking to the younger. Unlike Kai, it would be easier for him to befriend with him. Even with others it is easier for him to talk to them. Whenever he tried to forget about his feeling towards Uruha, he would end up crying, depressed, which makes the other concern about him the next day he came with a sad look, sleepless look, his eyes were tired, tired from all the crying. Once he even falls during practice, due to lack of sleep, tired from all the tears mix with the blood loss. Seeing Aoi in such state makes the other worried about him but he manage to stand up, he was too afraid that the others might found out about the scars that crave painfully at his hand.

He covered the scars by using a long sleeve shirt everytime they have practice, scars that make him surpass his loneliness, if only Uruha would notice and then love him, probably the scars won’t feel so dreadful. But at the same time, he wouldn’t want Uruha to notice them, because it will make him worried. So he hides them to himself, keeping it as secret probably would be the best way to make them unnoticed about his dark lives. Even they force him to use a short sleeve shirt, he denied them.

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They were having a break from all that practice, Aoi decided to have a smoke trying to release his tension because that day he played too much guitar solo. Aoi saw Uruha with a girl, he bare in mind that, by tomorrow the girl would be dump by Uruha, like the usual days when he dated a girl. He dumps them although He always smile and even pouts when he dated them, trying to act innocence which Aoi finds it rather attractive, but somehow he felt annoyed. He hates to see Uruha went out with other girls.
Aoi cannot stand seeing Uruha with the girl, he decided to go back home. He told Kai, that he felt unwell and he needs a rest. Kai allowed him cause he is concern about Aoi recently, coming to practice looking rather pale. “Aoi? Where do you want to go? It’s still early…” asked Reita when he saw Aoi was in rush. Aoi smiled and replied, “Home.” He packed his guitar to its place quickly; he steps out from the studio, he saw the girl is clutching near Uruha, leaning closer to him, but Uruha ignored her. Suddenly she pecks Uruha’s cheek. Aoi stunned, his eyes filled up with his tears, unconsciously his eyes automatically let out the tears to fall down to his cheek. He rushed to the car park where he put his car, doesn’t want Uruha to notice the tear stain. His engine start which surprised Uruha from the silence a while ago. It was rare to see Aoi went back so early when they still have few more hours to go for them to practice.

He was about to walk towards Aoi, wanted to ask him why he wanted to go back early. But he was stopped by the girl, holding his arm, wanting Uruha to respond, but Uruha ignored her. She become so persistence wanting Uruha to respond. End up Aoi drove away, driving faster as fast as he could, away from seeing Uruha. When Uruha saw Aoi drove away, he yelled at the girl for making him stay, he dumped her, the girl cried but Uruha left her. Went into the studio asking Kai what makes Aoi leaving home early. An instance replied from Kai, telling Aoi is sick.

He tried to call Aoi, but his attempt fail when the other line was engaged. Aoi has closed his phone. Uruha decided to pay him a visit the next day since tomorrow is a day off from practice.

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It’s bleeding, his hand start to let out the red stain, the pain, he tried to stop himself from cutting more but he can’t. For him when the razor-edge knife meet his flesh, it feels great, it makes the pain goes away, the pain when he saw Uruha with the girl made him eager to try to harm himself. He hated when he overreact but this is the only way that calm him down. He decided to end his life, but then before he dies, he wanted to hear the younger voice. He reached his phone, and called the younger, wanted to listen the younger voice for the last time.

“Moshi moshi?” said Uruha at the other of the line. His voice sounds rather tired maybe from the guitar solos that he played today. Aoi just kept on listening without saying a word to him, he wanted to say something but he cannot say it as if there was something stopping his mouth from letting out even a single word to Uruha. “Moshi moshi??” one more time Uruha said it, but again Aoi didn’t reply what he wanted to say. “Aoi is that you?” asked Uruha. When Uruha said his name, he cannot stop his sob, he made a small cry. “Goodbye Uru” Immediately he ends the call, before the younger could answer. He cried and another long cut craves at his hand. This time it felt really painful. He can see red stain slowly dropping, one drop by drop to the sheet. Should he smile looking at the blood stain? Or should he continue to crave another cut? Probably this would be the end of his life. Finally, He could forget the suffering.

His eyes almost failing because of the blood lost. Suddenly he heard a song, his phone rang, the songs that they all of them made together, he tried to reach them. Trying to get up, but he can’t his hand felt painful. He can feel the blood starting to become lesser as he find its hard for him to breath any longer. He let the phone rang; unanswered. His blood slowly covered the sheet where the cut comes out. He is bleeding painfully. After a short while, he heard his name was been called by a familiar voice coming from outside. That voice he knew so familiar. It was Uruha. He knocked the door, but Aoi doesn’t answer because it’s hard for him even to answer. Though at the same time he panicked, too afraid Uruha would saw the red stain, he wants to cover them, but he was too helpless, too helpless to even get up from the bed. He manage to hear Uruha saying “Aoi. Stay with me!” before he fell into a deep slumber.

Next thing he knew he was in the hospital, being put under medical care; located in the room where he was separated from other patients. He could felt his hand aching, he tried to ignore the pain. He looked at his right side; he saw the sun slowly rising. He turned to his left side… he saw someone sleeping next to him. Looking rather tired. The honey blonde hair that he knew perfectly who it belongs. He realized it was Uruha, still sleeping probably lacking of sleep. He tried to control his tears. He can hear Uruha mumble to himself, then he suddenly he got up. He saw Aoi eyes opened. His eyes widened when he saw is fact, Aoi finally woke up after the long sleep...

“Aoi!! Thank god finally you woke up. Oh god I’m so glad. That night when you call me I sense something wrong with you. I rushed to your apartment… and saw you covered up with blood stain.” said Uruha. “Aoi, you have been sleeping for 5 days straight, we were so worried sick about you. And when you call me that night you said goodbye” Uruha looked at Aoi injured hand, “Why Aoi? Why do you cut yourself? Are you trying to kill yourself?” he continued. Aoi didn’t reply him. He didn’t want anyone to know about his secret especially Uruha, he don’t want him to know that he suffered every night from the loss of blood. He didn’t realize that Uruha started to form tears in his eyes. “Tell me Aoi. Tell me everything. We don’t want to lose you.” said Uruha when his voice starts to crack. Aoi looked at him. Tears from his eyes slowly falling down to his cheek.

Aoi raised his hand to Uruha’s cheek, wiping his tears. “I’m so sorry Uru.” Said Aoi. Maybe he should tell Uruha about his feelings? He was confused to tell or not to tell Uruha about it. “I’m so sorry…” said Aoi this time he cannot control his tears, he cried. “I’m so sorry Uru, for making you wait for me, I’m sorry that you guys were worried about me” said Aoi, “stop apologizing Aoi, tell me why did you cut yourself??” said Uruha finally settling his voice, this time it was vice versa, Uruha wiped the tears from Aoi’s cheek.

Maybe Aoi should tell Uruha about his feeling, though the reason might be end up, Uruha don’t like him but its worth to try…

“Uru, I’m sorry but I did this because I love you. Since we first met, I’ve fallen for you. I wanted to tell you but my negative feelings keep on saying that it’s just a waste of time. Those negative feelings… made me like this, though it hurts, but it feels good at the same time. I’m sorry” said Aoi looking at the ceiling; he doesn’t want Uruha to thinks that he was a freak who have fallen for him. Indeed Uruha didn’t say anything but then… “Aoi look at me” said Uruha breaking the silent after Aoi’s confession to Uruha. Slowly Aoi move his sight and turn to Uruha.

Suddenly Uruha kissed him. Aoi stunned for a while but somehow he felt Uruha means it. Aoi’s tears slowly fall down. After a long deep meaningful kiss, they parted their lips. “Aoi. Why don’t you say this earlier?” asked Uruha, while his right hand was rubbing Aoi’s injure hand slowly, Aoi didn’t felt any pain, infact it makes the pain ease away so easily. “I’m too afraid Uru” Said Aoi still crying. “It’s okay now I’m here for you dear. I’m sorry, that I made you this way, I’m sorry. I love you too Aoi. I know I didn’t say them earlier. I wanted to tell you but I didn’t have the courage. I’m sorry.” said Uruha, tears flow down again to his cheek, Aoi knew that Uruha might felt guilty. Aoi told Uruha no need to apologized, as long as they both love each other that’s fine by him. “Promise me you wouldn’t do that again. Promise me you will tell me everything what you feel, even if you have a hard time I know we can solve it together. Promise me you will stay?” said Uruha; afraid Aoi might try to do it once again. “I promised” replied Aoi. They both kissed again, both were happy that’s their feelings towards each other are the same.

In the afternoon, Kai, Ruki and Reita pays Aoi a visit. Kai was so worried about Aoi cause for him Aoi is like a big brother to him. Kai was a bit mad but at the same time concern about the older man. Aoi smiled, telling Kai he wouldn’t do that again, cause he knew he already got what he wants for so long and he doesn’t have to suffer again. The next day Aoi was allowed to go back to home. Uruha drove him back to his house and accompany Aoi. When they reached to Aoi’s house. Uruha carried Aoi to his bedroom. Finally after the long years of suffering, Aoi dream the moments where he can finally touch Uruha came true.



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A/N: Please STOP reading if you are NOT a yaoi fangirl or if your mind are not matured enough read the continuation below. [PG 18+] I warned you.
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Uruha slowly put Aoi down to his bed and kiss Aoi’s cheek. He was about to go to the living room telling Aoi he will be staying for the night and sleep at the couch instead. But Aoi pulled Uruha. “Uru I want…” stopping his word from continuing them. “what is it dear? Tell me I’ll get them for you.” Uruha looks at the younger. “I want to feel you” whisper Aoi. Uruha smiled, obviously happy when Aoi want it so suddenly. “Well…Dear I hope you can bear it.” An evil smile craves from Uruha face when he said that. “cause I’m going to do you hard and good” said Uruha began to unzipped Aoi’s pant. Uruha placed a kiss to Aoi’s neck, sucking and licking them, Aoi made a small moans satisfied, he can felt an sudden erection under his boxer.

Aoi remove Uruha’s shirt unbuttoning them one by one while Uruha still licking his neck and then placed another kiss. “Are you ready Aoi?” asked Uruha, afraid that Aoi might felt tired. Aoi nodded. He wants Uruha to give him what he wanted for so long. Uruha began to unzip his pants and remove his boxers, while Aoi did the same thing. “Let me the Seme for today, I’ll do everything you just lay there and work with me” said Uruha.

He licks Aoi chest to his neck giving Aoi a shiver down to his spine. Then suddenly Uruha stopped. “Wait for me.” Said Uruha walking to the living room. He return back with a bottle of lube at his hand. “I brought it yesterday while you are asleep soundly in the hospital” said Uruha smiling innocently. “Ahh, already expecting something from me eyy?” said Aoi smiling in the devilish way.

Uruha covered his hand the lube and began to thrust his skilled hand to Aoi’s entrance, trying to make Aoi prepare himself before he thrust his hard arousal. He push his finger inside Aoi entrance, and enter his second finger, scissoring and pushing them deeply trying to find the sensitive spot. Aoi groan while Uruha enter him, the pain slowly turn to pleasure when suddenly Aoi eyes widened a small moans escape from him. His hands tugging the sheet, Uruha manage to hit his prostate. “Aoi let me enter okay?” asked Uruha, Aoi nodded. He began to thrust into Aoi. Aoi began to tugs the sheet when he felt Uruha’s cock enter him. Uruha tried to find his sensitive spot once again. Aoi moans when Uruha found them once again, his tears fall when the pain turns to pleasure. Hitting the prostate again and again; he start to thrust with greater speed. Increasing them every time he thrust into Aoi. “Oh FUCK Uru” “damn it I love you so”. suddenly Uruha felt the burning pressure beginning to build up in his stomach, hinting at an impending orgasm.

“Aoi I wants you to spread your cum at my stomach, damn that would be hot” said Uruha. “no I don’t want to” said Aoi; “just do it” said Uruha. “mine almost come already. Come on do it” demand Uruha. Uruha grabbed Aoi’s cock pumping them and keep on thrusting Aoi. When suddenly Aoi released them the hot liquid to his stomach probably it was unbearable for him to control them. He felt that Aoi’s entrance began to contract, Uruha shut his eyes and screamed Aoi's name as he felt the intense pleasure running throughout his body, finally releasing the hot liquid, shooting out his cum inside Aoi. He stopped what he done and fall on top of Aoi leaving both of them panting.

Uruha pulled his cock out of Aoi and apologized because he release them early. Aoi forgave him. They both look at each other and smiled. “Uru, dear… don’t ever leave me” said Aoi. “I won’t, I love you so much I won’t ever leave you” replied Uruha. Uruha buried his face at Aoi neck and start to kiss and sucking them. A red mark was form, which proves Aoi is his forever. Uruha lay on top of Aoi hugging his waist not letting them go, finally after settling his breath he kiss Aoi. Got up and head for a bath. “You want to follow me?”asked Uruha with a sexy tone. “sure thing” said Aoi as he got up from bed and head to the bathroom together with Uruha.

END
A/N: well sorry the sex scene was a bit short, I got no idea, bwahahahaha but I hope people would like it, ESPECIALLY Lydia who was expecting Aoi x Uruha, now I made one but this is different story. Yosh!! I added them up a bit hope people would like reading them.

Current status: listening to Guren. Exam tomorrow yet I’m writing this whole fiction once again.